sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
