You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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