I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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