I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
