fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
