their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
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