Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
