If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
you had me at cake vodka
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
