Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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