I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize