piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
