Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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