i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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