Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
