So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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