this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
