So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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