I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
