the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
