Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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