dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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