So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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