Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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