areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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