i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
