i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize