your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
