I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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