everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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