Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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