Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
