so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
