dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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