I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize