I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
