im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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