She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
