i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
