Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
