They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
