ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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