is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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