A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
