He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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