My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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