So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
