so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
