but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
