I hate your face
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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