White coat. Heels.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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