i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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