I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
