Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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