everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
tell your sister to shave her snatch
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
