I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
