you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
