did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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