I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize