my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
