he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
