Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
There r osticjed everywhere
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
