I'm pants shitting drunk right now
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
